Parent and Family 

 Framing the Colby – Student – Parent/Family Relationship

The core philosophy of the Colby–Student-Parent/Family relationship is detailed in the following list:

• We believe in partnering with Parents/Families to support students.   There is a triad of support for most successful Colby students that consists of the student, advisors from the College, and parents/family members. It is essential that the student is always at the center of the triad and s/he must be the primary communicator and conduit of information to and from advisors and parents/family members.

• We will communicate with you about significant issues.  First, and most importantly, while we do not communicate with families about routine student medical matters, you will be notified about serious health matters - including ER transports for alcohol intoxication. On the academic front, if your student receives course warnings in two or more classes in any given semester we normally send letters to families.  Likewise, when a student is facing significant disciplinary charges for alleged violations of the Code of Student Conduct we notify families.

• We're happy to talk with you about questions or concerns you and/or your student have.  We understand, appreciate, and encourage your engagement with your student's Colby experience.  Members of the student affairs staff are always available to speak with you about matters of process or policy, or to provide counsel on how and where to direct your student for particular kinds of support.  What we won't do is discuss the particulars of a matter your student is confronting without his or her knowledge, nor will we concoct a fabricated reason to speak with him/her as a back door approach to get at some other concern.  We insist on being forthright and direct with students, and treating them as mature adults.

• We always encourage students to communicate with their families.  Our approach and practice is to work with and treat students like independent adults. Part of that approach is to help students understand that adults need and benefit from support from their families all the time.  Accordingly, we always encourage students to communicate with their families about the issues they are confronting.
  
  
• Your student will almost certainly encounter difficulty in some form during his/her  college experience. Adversity is part of life and learning to cope with it is an essential life skill. Our job as advisors and teachers and family members is to support and reassure students when they encounter challenges. College actually provides a great setting to  make mistakes, and learn about managing difficulty. The stakes are by and  large very low and the people in the community care about helping students succeed.
  
  
• Your direct involvement with your student's academic life at Colby should always go through your student. You can address questions about process and support services to your student's advising dean. However, students are responsible for communicating and working with their instructors about course-related issues. Parents/family members  should not directly contact faculty about their student's status in a class.
  
  
• Your direct involvement with your student's co-curricular life (including athletics) should always go through your student. Specific details  may vary depending on the particular activities and endeavors your student is involved in outside of class but as with academics students are responsible for communicating with the advisors, coaches,  musical/theatrical directors, etc. with whom they are working at Colby.  Parents/family  members should only communicate with these individuals through their students.

The core of the Colby-Student relationship is detailed in the following list:

• We care about our students.  Really.  We care about their health and happiness and safety and success.  We want them to enjoy and do well in their classes.  We want them to thrive personally and socially.  We want them to have fun.  And we will be there to help them get the most out of their Colby experience.

• A positive experience exists for all Colby students.  Colby is not a one-size-fits-all proposition.  To the contrary, there is a unique Colby education for every Colby student.  The challenge for your student is to commit to identifying and achieving their own special Colby.  They must be prepared to embrace periods of discomfort.  They have to be willing to question their beliefs.  And we - faculty and staff and parents and families - have to encourage students to explore new ideas and paths of inquiry.
  

• Students must be responsible for themselves and for their experience. Above all else, we want students to grow in their understanding of themselves and the world in which they live. We want them to be challenged and to learn to handle adversity on their own. So our version of caring is not always warm and fuzzy. On the other hand, it's not really about "tough love" either. It is about trusting and believing in our students' ability to be engaged, thoughtful, and responsible members of this community and providing support and guidance while setting high expectations for them.

• Colby is entirely about students. More to the point, Colby is about students learning and growing and maturing as a person. Our objective is to help students to become capable, competent, and independent adults. We believe that there are learning opportunities for students in all aspects of their lives on campus and when faculty or staff or family members act as surrogates for students we deprive them of a chance to learn.

We want them to be challenged and to learn to handle adversity on their own.  So our version of caring is not always warm and fuzzy.  On the other hand, it's not really about "tough love" either.  It is about trusting and believing in our students' ability to be engaged, thoughtful, and responsible members of this community.

 Parent and Family Page March Updates

Room Selection: March and April are when room selection for the upcoming academic year takes place. The room selection process is overseen by the Office of Campus Life and involves a number of different parts and options depending on students’ particular interests (e.g.  Quiet, Chem-Free, Dialogue Housing, and the Senior Apartments). More detailed information about how the room draw process works can be found on the Colby website (http://www.colby.edu/administration_cs/campuslife/residential/hallinfo/room-draw-faqs.cfm).

As you may already know, room draw is often the source of significant stress and anxiety for many students. Students tend to place a high premium on where, in what type of housing (i.e. single, double, suite, etc.), and with whom they are going to live and emotions can run very high if and when things don’t fall neatly into place. The truth is, of course, that there is greater demand for the most sought after rooms/suites/apartments than there is a supply.  Additionally, as many students have not finalized plans to study away from campus for the coming year we almost always end up with a few students on a waiting list for fall housing. Please be assured that students on the waiting list (should one be necessary) are still guaranteed housing. Indeed, those on the waiting list (usually rising sophomores) almost always end up with far more sought-after rooms than they would have otherwise gotten because those vacating the rooms tend to be juniors and seniors who select earlier in the process.

The bottom line is that room draw is an issue where you as family and friends of students can help them to keep a sense of perspective. While one room may seem to be way better than another, in the end there really is very little difference between any of them. Students’ experiences in the residence halls are shaped primarily by the relationships they make with friends and roommates; not by having a few more square feet of space between their desks.

CA/COOT Leader Selection and SGA Elections: The spring semester is a time of transition for our student leadership positions.  Students are invited and encouraged to consider their co-curricular experience for the upcoming year and many will apply or run for positional leadership positions such as COOT Leader, Community Advisor, and SGA Representative.  These positions provide terrific opportunities for students to shape the Colby community and to learn about themselves and their approach to working with a group.  While we know that many or our students are strong leaders and important contributors to Colby the hard truth is that we do not have available positions for everyone who desires and deserves this opportunity.  As such, we encourage our students (and their support networks) to consider that there are many different ways to lead and to have an impact on the Colby campus.  If a student is not offered the opportunity to hold a position they are seeking they should come into the office of Campus Life to discuss other possibilities to share their skills and talents with the larger Colby community.

Spring Break Safety: As students head off to destinations around the country (and beyond) we want to encourage you to remind your student[s] to think about how to stay safe while they are away from campus. After completing mid-terms students are often over tired both physically and mentally so it is particularly important that they take steps to make sure they are awake and alert if they are driving. Likewise, they need to be mindful of eating well, getting adequate rest, and being sure to dress appropriately for their particular spring break circumstances, stay hydrated, and use sunscreen if they are heading to places where they are going to be out in the sun. Beyond that, we urge them to remember to practice personal safety (e.g. lock their cars and doors, don’t leave cash or other valuables lying around in plain sight, stay with friends when out and about at night or in unfamiliar places). Students have been working hard and are ready for a break. We just want to help them to make it a healthy and safe one as well.