Jessica Flood Leitz '86 doesn't like the word "homemaker," but she likes the job.
A former legislative assistant for Massachusetts state representative Paul Casey, Leitz decided 18 months ago to give up her career to stay home with Keegan, 6, and Nils, 3, when Keegan was preparing to enter pre-school. She has not regretted it.
"My husband and I decided that as long as we could get by without food stamps, pay the mortgage, live comfortably, the benefit we would give the boys now [by having a parent at home] would be worth whatever sacrifices we made," she said. "We thought, `What can we do without?' We realized we could do without a lot of things."
For Leitz, being an at-home mother goes deeper than simply being available to care for scraped knees and hurt feelings. She believes her presence will help her children understand and appreciate unselfishness and make them more likely to make sacrifices for others. "I want the boys to grow up with integrity and a sense of honor like their father has," she said. "I want them to want to do what's right because it's right, not because they will get something in return."
Her sons' moral development is the primary advantage of being at home all the time, Leitz says. "When they were at the babysitter's they didn't have to pick up their toys. Here, they do. They have expectations. Developing discipline, knowing right from wrong--the schools aren't responsible for that, parents are," she said. Her presence also allows her to discuss with the boys issues like family economics. "They know they can't go to Toys `R' Us all the time because we don't have the money. They know because I tell them. We talk about it."
Leitz says she has "immense respect and admiration" for two-earner families who use evenings and weekends to give their children the love and guidance they need. "I don't know how they do it, really. We can't seem to find time to do anything on weekends," she said.
Every decision the Leitzes make is weighed according to its effects on the children. Trade-offs are made. When her husband, Christopher, was offered a job in western Massachusetts, the couple agonized over whether to leave their suburban Boston home. They liked the prospect of living in a smaller town, Leitz says, but chose to stay because the move would have put the boys two hours farther away from their grandparents. On the other hand, that decision means a certain loss of freedom for her sons, which Leitz says makes her sad. She drives Keegan to school and walks him into his kindergarten classroom every day because she fears for his safety. "We live in a good neighborhood, but there still are a few wackos out there. Keegan would love to hop on his bicycle and go around the block, but I won't let him," she said.
The proximity of grandparents enriches her sons' lives, says Leitz, whose mother drives from New Hampshire regularly to spend time with the boys. "There's nothing like that relationship [between children and grandparents]," she said. "It's important for many reasons, but one reason is that it exposes the boys to older adults, gives them a greater range of people to know and learn from."
Leitz's third child is due to be born this month, which means she will be home for at least a few more years. "There are days I wish I had somewhere to go," she admits, "but I wouldn't change my situation. There's no job I want to do more than be home with my kids."