Had it not been for Dean Ernie's disappearance, the
senior staff would have spent the morning discussing a variety of portentous
issues, as usual.
Rob Teflyn had hoped to report the long-awaited outcome of the lawsuit by a tenured professor who had been relieved of his duties on the basis of improper conduct, dismissed by the Maine courts thanks to the overwhelming evidence he had gathered attesting to the man's certifiable lunacy.
Jeannette sorely needed advice on the case of two sophomores who, with Dean Ernie's encouragement, had built a sweat lodge up by the water tower as part of their independent study project on bonding rituals. Now they were refusing to shower, claiming it infringed on their academic freedom. Their roommates wanted rebates.