Staff from the Dean of Students and Security offices, faculty members and students all have brought students to the Health Center out of concern. Sometimes students harm themselves and get scared and come in on their own, Thompson said. For the couple of students a year who make a suicide attempt or a credible statement of intent, Colby recommends a leave of absence. "When in doubt, the school tends to err on the side of caution," Thompson said. Students can return only if they have medical approval, but students often do return to successful college careers.

Often friends and family are afraid to question a depressed person about suicide, fearing they'll plant the idea. Bringing up suicide is not a bad thing, though, says Farrell, who not only has been suicidal but has lost friends to the act. "It's saying, I'm recognizing that there's something wrong." That outreach can be a crucial step in prevention.

Farrell's bout with depression freshman year left him feeling desperate. "Every morning you wake up. You feel absolutely horrible. You have absolutely no reasons for why. You have no answers," Farrell said. "That's the scariest damn feeling in the world."

Feeling hopeless the summer after his freshman year, Farrell found himself writing different drafts of a suicide letter at 2 a.m. While editing one for content, it struck Farrell how distorted his mindset had become. He decided it was time to see a doctor.

With talk therapy and several months of intense medication Farrell began recovering. His doctor also discovered a physical cause for his ailments--extremely low testosterone levels, which he now treats. Farrell was relieved to finally have a reason for his depression. Just two years later, during a stressful period of his junior year, he felt himself slipping a little, "but the great thing was I knew what it was," he said. "I knew what I had to do. I knew who I needed to talk to and it never got anywhere to the point it got freshman year."

For some, depression is a one-time occurrence never experienced again. For others, it is a chronic condition requiring attention to prevent. Now, years after being suicidal, Farrell still monitors himself for signs of depression with regular therapy. "Once a month I sit down with a woman and I tell her how great my life is," he said. "Because you know what? I never want to go through anything like that in my life ever again."

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