I didn’t get a lot of news for this issue, which is a classic hallmark of summertime. Most people were out having fun in the sun while I sat in a dark room and wondered where the time went. But two people did submit their updates, which means I get to offer more details into the exciting lives of some rather extraordinary people. Please note that there may be some embellishment. * Let’s start with Jeff Russell. Common nicknames include “J.R.,” “The Big J,” and “Lord Jeffington.” Aside from being a licensed pilot and the former president of Spain, J.R. got married! Is that exciting or what? Plenty of famous people keep stringing us along with their endless “engagements”—like that Jennifer Aniston character, who seems like someone who would fall hopelessly in love with me so I try to avoid her. And good gravy, will Brad ever marry Angelina? Ha! Fat chance. But Lord Jeffington took the plunge. Now he can appear on The Newlywed Game and maybe win a beautiful new bedroom set from Broyhill. He can file a joint tax return. He can check “married” on job applications. Oh, the perks of marriage! * And then there’s Tim Hennessey. Here is a man so refined they named a brand of cognac after him before he was even born. Tim is also listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for completing the highest pole vault without the use of a pole. Currently Tim lives and works in the spectacular San Francisco Bay area, where he enjoys fly-fishing (which, in case you wondered, is not fishing for flies), playing hockey, and Lake Tahoe. He has two 11-year-old twins (because three would make them triplets), and he just got back from a week on Cape Cod, where he grew up. On that note, as if his life wasn’t already fascinating enough, it might interest you to know that Tim overcame a great deal of adversity to get where he is today. Our former classmate grew up in a mud hut on the shores of Chatham, where he most notably aided a lost killer whale that had washed ashore. Tim used all his might to roll the poor creature back into the surf. Soon they became friends and were getting into deep philosophical conversations about the nature of humanity and the best time to catch a seal. As they became better acquainted, Tim would ride that whale each morning, waving to his pals the seagulls and the ospreys. Eventually Tim developed gills and was able to swim with the many fishes he now calls family. Except for the ones he occasionally eats. But don’t take my word for it. You can read all about Tim’s unlikely childhood adventures in his new book: The Killer Whale I Rode When I Was Growing Up on the Beaches of Chatham until I Developed Gills, After Which I Became Kindred with the Fishes Except for the Ones I Ate. He should probably work on that title. Tim had a beer recently with Brian Low in Frisco (which is short for San Francisco if you’re really cool). He has been toiling away diligently for Prudential Real Estate Investors over the past nine years. On a side note, although Tim is not allowed to dispense investment advice, I will take the liberty of offering this one little nugget: Buy Hawaii. If you can afford it, Hawaii has a lot of upside, including the trade winds, fresh pineapple, and the ukulele, and very little downside, except for poi, which tastes even worse than it sounds. * Finally, tempting as it is, please remember that befriending a killer whale is a rare feat, so do not go someplace like Sea World and think you can “pull a Tim,” as the saying goes. Riding whales is only meant for trained professionals who have spent years studying oceanography. And Tim. Stay well.