| The Colby Reader |
The Colby Bubble, for years a term used as a metaphor for Colby College’s virtual isolation from the outside world, is about to take on new meaning. The bubble plan, which will be presented for approval by the trustees this spring, would erect a giant glass dome over the college extending from the athletic center to the alumni house, enclosing both Monument Street and Mayflower Hill drive, and extending over the three and four mile loops. The five-mile loop is being excluded, because nobody really wants to run the five-mile loop anyway.
Once completed, the bubble promises to revamp security on campus by preventing the entrance of unwanted guests such as Waterville townies, who are suspected of having entered campus several times in recent months, and of course, the dreaded state liquor inspector.
President Cotter, in an address on Tuesday, asserted, "Preventing the entrance of the liquor inspector will serve many functions. The college will not have to reform its current alcohol regulations, preventing the expenditure of thousands on ‘chem free’ activities annually." Cotter says that by refraining from sponsoring anything, the college has been able to put more towards important projects like the purchase of several new football helmet pumps for the Colby Mules, and the coloring of the grass and pond for parents weekend.
The bubble will drastically improve security concerns on campus. Last year alone, Waterville residents were blamed for the theft of several CDs, videocassettes, and sweaters from students in both the Hillside and Heights residence complexes. While the bubble promises to keep outside criminals from entering campus, it will not stop potential perpetrators from within the Colby community. When asked whether Colby students themselves might be responsible for the thefts, Colby security said that they would continue to escalate their relentless fight against Parking violations.
In addition to addressing security issues, the plan will improve quality of life. "As a matter of fact," stated Cotter, "the dome will allow us to keep the grass green without the use of toxic chemicals." The bubble plan calls for a state of the art climate control system. Currently, the college attempts to heat the quad indirectly, by heating the residence halls to unbearable levels, forcing students to open their windows and let heat escape to the outside. The new climate control system would include separate heating vents and simulated sunshine, to create summer conditions even during Jan plan. Future plans to install a beach and wave generator in Johnson pond are being investigated.
Entrances to the dome will be placed at both ends of Mayflower Hill and Monument Street. WHOP and Spanky’s drivers will be permitted to enter campus at will. Eventually, plans call for the construction of a Wal-Mart behind Bob’s, to provide necessary resources to the student body, and preventing students from having to see the real world. Students attending Colby during construction will be granted Colby retention privileges upon graduation, to compensate for being awakened as early as 10:30 by the excessive noise. Construction will be complete by September 2002.
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