After my dad left

she would go to that place
deep in the corner of the yard
her back to our house,
and drop to her knees
kneading the earth like
brown bread, letting her tears
roll so she could spread out the pain.

She went to that place
where she could watch things grow,
where she could
plant a bulb and
it would never dry out.
That soil was rich,
it could hold her love,
those petals were her proof.

Sometimes I would
follow her there, to watch
her roll it out, to watch her
hold the earth between her palms.
And I would drop down beside her,
on the edge of the flowerbed
my knees getting spotted brown
to help her plant, help her
turn the soil, spread it out.

And I wanted her to cry with me,
let me soak up her rain.
She didn?t have to be so strong.
I wanted to touch her shoulder
with my tiny fingers
and say, look

look how I have grown.

Briney Alltucker