|
The Thermodynamics of Hell |
| A thermodynamics
professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It
had one question: Is hell exothermic (giving off heat) or endothermic
(taking in or absorbing heat)? Support your answer with a proof. |
| Most of the students
wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following: |
| First, we postulate
that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then
a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving
into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? |
| I think that we
can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets look
at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same,
the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. |
| |
| | A1: So, if hell
is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell,
then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell
breaks loose. |
| A2: Of course,
if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes
over. So which is it? |
| If we accept the
postulate given to me by Therese Banyan during Freshman year, "that
it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into
account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations
with her, then A2 cannot be true, and hell is exothermic. |
| The student got
the only A. |
