"It Takes a Society to Create Violent Children"

20 November 2001

--Eric Harris, Columbine Shooter

The issue of violent boys within American schools has been pushed to the forefront in the past few years. School shootings in white middle-class America have created a national debate over what is causing this newfound killer. Teenagers in Littleton, Colorado, Jonesboro, Arkansas, Peducah, Kentucky and Springfield, Oregon have all become victims of boys killing girls and boys. Due to this great increase in suburban shootings, society as a whole is being questioned as the primary motivator behind the shootings. Movies, music, video games etc. have all been thought to be direct influences on male teen violence. Society’s general acceptance and portrayal of violence has created an atmosphere where we are so used to the images of them that when it happens for real, it does not seem so tragic. It is important to examine this change in imagery in our society that gives children the idea that killing is a viable outlet for aggression. Within this paper I will examine societies impact on teen violence, focusing primarily on the influence it had on the recent school shootings.

Society’s impact on these shootings is extremely influential, however, it is my contention that we as a society must be able to deal with children who have problems before actions which society could possibly influence takes over and becomes violent. Nearly every case in which there is a shooting involves a student, who feels they "do not fit in," or are harassed and bullied. Jackson Katz states that these boys who were "tired of being ridiculed or marginalized, weren’t big and strong and so they used the great equalizer: weapons." The development of this violence is based on the idea of shame and being ashamed. This theory stated by James Gilligan is that the only way for a boy to feel good about himself is to act out violently. James Garbarino believes that the emotion of shame is the primary cause of violence supports this theory. Both of these theories including that of Katz’s will be examined within this paper. The underlying issue is that society has created an environment where boys are given the idea that "violent masculinity" is a viable outlet for aggression. To be able to change society and its influence on violence is essential to creating safer schools. First, we must teach children how to deal with feeling ashamed, and secondly ending all bullying and harassment.

In this paper the perpetuation of violence through many different avenues will be examined. The emotion of shame and "toxic shame" will be explored as the initial precursor to violent crimes. The emotion of shame evolves exponentially when bullying and teasing is involved. According to parents of children in schools and the children themselves, bullying is the biggest problem in schools. This aspect of shame and how bullying cause violence is important to understand in order to combat the problem.

Following this information, I will explain how media portray violence and the desensitizing of Americans. The media also creates a "violent masculinity," which forces boys to act like stereotypical Alpha-males. If they do not coincide with these stereotypes, the emotion of shame is once again instilled through bullying or social status. Finally, this paper will explore ways to combat these crimes in order create a safe environment for all schools. This violence has to stop and to do that; we need to be able to listen to boys and allow them to feel shame, teaching them ways to let out their frustrations non-violently. Society has to come together as a whole to combat teen violence. It started in our society and will only be stopped with a monumental effort.

According to James Gilligan, "the emotion of shame is the primary or ultimate cause of all violence whether towards others or towards the self." Shame is an extremely powerful emotion, which has influenced all violent actions that have occurred in our schools. However, it is necessary to realize that nearly every boy in this country feels shame. The reason why most all boys have not reacted violently to this emotion of shame is due to the fact that they have not met three preconditions that Gilligan has observed in extremely violent people.

These three underlying preconditions are based on the research performed by Gilligan while interviewing violent criminals. The first precondition is that of a chronic feeling of shame, where the trivialities of these feelings create an even deeper more intense feeling of shame. Gilligan observed that "nothing is more shameful than to feel ashamed." Many violent criminals have trouble dealing with these emotions and consequently have to deal with them by covering them up through "a defensive mask of bravado, arrogance…[and] would rather die than let you know what is distressing them." However, these people inside are dying with shame and need an outlet for their pains. Within this first precondition these people have such a difficult time dealing with the pains of shame and consequently these feelings intensify due to their inability to deal with them.

The second precondition is that these men believe that there is no other option to deal with their problems besides violence. They feel that there is no other way that they can feel good about themselves but to act out violently. The act will take away the shame that they are feeling and place it on the victim. One of the men that Gilligan interviewed stated that "if you don’t have your self-respect, you don’t have nothing…[and] I’ve got to have my self-respect, and I’ve declared war on the whole world till I get it!" Societies has deemed them as social outcasts in many instances and feel that there is no other outlet to deal with their shame, consequently violent actions are used. This feeling of helplessness and hopelessness is the cause for action to be taken.

The final precondition that Gilligan observed is that the violent criminal lacks the capacity to deal with the feelings of shame. They do not feel guilt or love towards other people and therefore are able to take out their aggressions with minimal emotional burden. They do not feel as if anything will happen to them or they do not care if any action is taken against them. They are completely ambivalent to any consequences that may occur due to this act.

These three preconditions are the key to violence according to Gilligan and explain why many people do not act out violently. Most people have the mechanisms to deal with shame and a lessened self-esteem. Everyone has to deal with the emotion of shame and its effects on the self-esteem, however most of us are able to through different avenues other than violence. These few criminals, cannot. This same prisoner that Gilligan interviewed stated that he felt "spiritually and mentally defeated…he had no fear of anyone or anything including death." The shame in this man has completely taken over his mental processes and cannot deal with it.

James Garbarino has also looked at this issue of shame and the inability to deal with its forces regarding male teen violence. Garbarino believes that many of the violent children endure what he calls "toxic shame." This term, which was originally coined by John Bradshaw, is the idea that "people who live with toxic shame feel fundamentally disgraced, intrinsically worthless, and profoundly humiliated in their own skin, just for being themselves." He goes on by stating that this idea of shame forcing them into violence "because they know that acts of violence against self or others are a reliable method for reasserting existence when life experience has denied it." According to Garbarino this idea of "revenge" is perpetuated by society as it has become a standard action for mistreatment. "An eye for an eye," is commonly used today and is not looked down upon and therefore thrives. This inability of societal structures to keep these emotions at a normal functional level is a great injustice to the children of this country.

Garbarino continues with his argument and believes that most violent boys have a deep-rooted problem with depression. He states that depression among young American youth has gone up from two percent in the 1960’s to twenty-five percent in the 1990’s. Violence follows depression in the fact that there is a "loss of the capacity to feel at all and [an] externalization of their pain so that they attribute it to the actions of others, feel victimized and deal with their distress through action particularly violent action." Garbarino states that much of the depression in young boys in America is due to a feeling of abandonment by their parents.

This issue of abandonment is primary to the study of violent boys. As boys grow up, if they feel that they have been neglected or rejected then they begin to feel a deep sense of humiliation and shame. This feeling begins early in life and in nearly all instances, boys that are violent or a "problem child" will most likely continue this behavior in his later years. This aspect of depression and shame evolving out of the family is extremely difficult to deal with, but it is necessary for schools and other organizations to open their ears to many of the children’s problems.

This inability to listen to or even notice a boy’s problems is the reason that many violent crimes occur at an early age. Bullying and teasing has become part of our society and it seems to be almost tolerable. Most instances, schools do not want to create a commotion when dealing with these sorts of insults. It is a common occurrence and for the most part very little is done in terms of discipline towards bullies. Dr. Helen Smith has witnessed this lack of discipline while she was a consulting psychologist at a high school. A gang of kids was harassing a child, and when she went to tell on them, their reaction was to send the child who was being tormented to an "alternative school." She states, "only the victim suffered-and, quite obviously, nobody cared about her as long as she represented the path of least resistance. This of course, has been the fate of nerds since time immemorial." This bullying will continue until there is a concerted effort to deal with it and understand its influence on children.

Behind nearly every school shootings, a feeling of shame in the attacker has emerged due to bullying or teasing in school. Young boys gain this sense of shame when they do not fit into the stereotypical male role in school. They do not fit-in and are consequently bullied or teased due their social position. However, it is interesting to see that, according to Fiona Morgan, "most kids in school are victims, and a minority are bullies." This "majority" who are victims show that there is a gross injustice among the peer groups’ place in society. It is necessary to realize that bullying must be stopped before substantial progress in male school violence can be seen.

In a study performed by Case Western Reserve University’s Mark Singer, the violence of students from third to eighth grade was measured. He found "disturbingly high levels of violence amongst youngsters, who were raised in working-class to upper-middle-class homes." Within this study, Singer observed that two out of five boys had been slapped, hit or punched at home or school in the past year. In addition, nearly three-quarters of children said they witnessed some sort of beatings within the past year. Although punishment was not mentioned, it is easy to say that most of these children who caused beatings were not punished severely. This is where the problem stems from, the lack of discipline to deal with children who show their power over the lesser powerful students by acting out violently.

This increase in shame due to bullying and teasing has been seen in nearly all of the recent school shootings. Regarding the Columbine shootings, both shooters were "outcasts in the Columbine social scene…[and] he [Eric Harris] became a favorite target of their harassment, pushing him up against lockers and calling him names like "fag" and "pussy."" This teasing and physical violence creates an image of Eric Harris and his counterpart Dylan Klebold as being inferior. In the recent publishing of Eric Harris’ personal journal, he states the problems with not fitting in his last entry before the mass murdering at Columbine by expressing,

This image of inferiority and lack of social status leads to immense amounts of shame and the ultimate demise of 13 innocent people.

Shame builds up inside many young boys and it is the one’s who do not know how to handle this emotion that commit these atrocities. Principal of Heath High School in Peducah, Kentucky stated of eleven-year old Michael Carneal, "this young man had a lot of hatred and pent-up frustration that boiled over." In many boys shame does not emerge into violence but those who do it is because, as Dewey Cornell stated, "their judgment and perspective becomes distorted, like a suicidal person who thinks life isn’t worth living…however, the conflicted youth decides to kill others rather than himself." This boiling over must be dealt with accordingly, and the best place to start is where it begins, with the bullying and teasing.

Boys need to feel that they are a part of society and fit in within their peer group. Nechama Katz states that "humans thrive when they feel known, valued and respected. To reduce violence in schools, we need to change schools into place where no one is invisible and everyone is welcomed." In essence we need to end bullying and teasing in order to eliminate shame as an emotion of social status. She continues by saying, "as long as there have been bullies, violence has been a part of life." The elimination of bullies will help to bring about massive change.

It is easy to see then that in a recent survey of 1,249 parents of kids aged eight to fifteen and 823 kids aged eight to fifteen that bullying ranks as the highest problem in schools. The survey concluded,

Everyone needs to realize that bullying and teasing is a problem. This survey concluded that both parents and children realize that there is a problem. Therefore we must be able to combat bullying by creating strict rules that punish the bully. This punishment should begin in the home where strict morals are taught about equality and basically just "being nice." Then it is up to the teachers to create an atmosphere, which allows students to feel good for who they are. This is seen in the recent creation of no-bullying policies in school systems.

Many school systems have implemented this no-bullying policy into their curriculum in order to keep schools safe. These policies incorporate a no tolerance for any bullying or teasing. At the James H. Bean School in Sidney, Maine, this policy is in effect and has worked wonderfully. Anytime a bullying or teasing occurs, the aggressor is forced to call their parents personally and explain why they did it. Students are encouraged to vent their grievances to anyone they feel comfortably telling. This policy creates an atmosphere of near equality and helps to drop the number of problems within the school. Although complete equality within school walls is nearly impossible, it is crucial to be able to give an outlet for boys to talk about their anger and frustrations before they turn to violence.

Why do some children react so violently? This violence of the dominant male over the weaker is thought to have a deep underlying root in media and its depiction of it. According to many studies and theories, children who watch more television become shaped by its broadcasts. Due to the fact that much of today’s television is based on violence it is easy to see the correlation between them. In addition, parents are more and more reliant on television to act as a sort of baby-sitter, because of the increasing one-parent homes.

These effects that have been seen due to the increased violence on television have been widely discussed. According to The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, children become "immune to the horror of violence; gradually accept violence as a way to solve problems; Imitate the violence they observe on television; and identify with certain characters, victims, and/or victimizers." Parents who place their children in front of the television, in essence, are perpetuating the violence on it as OK. How are children to react when their parents allow them to watch a movie such as the Terminator, in which Arnold Schwarzenegger is killing maliciously? The only way is to educate our children as to what is right and wrong, instead of assuming the television is a good nanny.

The numbers regarding violence on television are astounding. According to an article written in the Washington Post, the following statistics are true. It found that "57 percent of television programs contained some violence and that the risks to viewers involve learning to behave violently, becoming more desensitized to the harmful consequences of violence and becoming more fearful of being attacked." In addition, 73 percent of all violent acts go unpunished, 47 percent show no harm to victims, 58 percent depict no pain, only 16 percent depict financial or emotional harm, 25 percent use handguns, and only 4 percent emphasize nonviolent alternatives. These staggering numbers create an environment for a child that is extremely detrimental to their development.

The impact of these numbers is also extremely staggering. In an article written by Jean Tepperman, she explores the damaging messages that media violence sends. As stated before in the statistical information, violence is often rewarded and is seldom shown to have negative consequences. Tepperman states that much of the violence on TV is justified in that the hero of the show is committing these acts. Rarely is the hero every punished and only 62 percent of the time the "bad guys" are punished.

Tepperman continues her research by explaining the different ways children react to these messages from the media. She states four different ways, which have been researched by Ronald Slaby, that children react to them. The first is that of an aggressor effect, which encourages the child to become violent. This effect is the most detrimental because the child becomes aggressive and sees this violence as a viable outlet for aggression.

The second is the victim effect, which places the child in a state of fearfulness that this violence is right outside his/her door. This effect is extremely influential on those children who observe violence in his/her own home. When violence occurs in the home and then is seen on television, the violence on television becomes extremely real. This is why many children feel as if this violence can happen to them at any moment and they become extremely fearful of it.

The final two stages are a little less problematic, but still are important to realize as important effects of media violence. The third stage, Slaby viewed, was that of the bystander effect, which is where the child begins to accept all violence as normal. They develop callousness towards all violence due to the amount that they encounter on television. The final effect is that of an appetite effect, which the child becomes so engrossed with media violence that they need to watch more as they desire it.

These four effects are extremely important to realize when watching television. Most people and even children are able to discern between what is right and what is wrong. Most children do not turn their frustrations into violence, but it is the small minority that creates such a tense and dangerous situation for school children everyday. When children are given the idea that this sort television violence is all right then we cannot question why these acts happen.

In the recent publishing of Eric Harris’ journal, the Columbine shooter, a victim of the aggressor effect of media, shows effects music and music videos have on perpetuating violence. His letters, extremely disturbing allow one to go inside the mind of this troubled teenager. He expresses this music influence by stating,

This gross and disturbing portrayal of what was seen in a music video is absolutely atrocious. In the margins of his journal he speaks of another song called ""Weisses Fleisch"–[is the] perfect song for me" translated into English from German means, White Meat/Flesh–[is the] perfect song for me. This is another clear indicator of how media has helped to create these mass murders. In a different journal entry Harris mentions bands like Thrasher, Whiskey, UAC Labs, and Tier, which have clearly influenced his sensibilities as he said "put them [columbine students] in MY worlds…I would love to see all you fuckheads die." How can lyrics such as "fuck’em like an animal, feel them from the side" not perpetuate violence? If information like this does not create some sort of action regarding media violence, this problem will only get worse.

Solely blaming the media for teen violence is not the answer, and it is very narrow-minded. One very powerful argument, by Jackson Katz, as to the reason for this increase in male teen violence is that society has created a mythical "dominant male peer culture." He states that "the issue is not just violence in the media but the construction of violent masculinity as a cultural norm." He calls this increase in teen violence, pointing at the school shootings, as this crisis in masculinity. He says that media has played an important role in shaping these violent minds, but it does not address the real issue, according to Katz, this crisis in masculinity.

Television, movies, music, etc have perpetuated this masculinity. Katz calls this crisis within boys as the "Tough Guise." Katz explains that this Tough Guise is when "men wear a mask to shield their vulnerability and hide humanity." Katz believes as Tepperman does, that violence has become a natural part of life. He makes reference to many different avenues; pro-wrestling, showboating in sports, violent video games, movies with hyper-masculine figures, and rap and rock music videos all have helped to perpetuate this masculinity. All of which look down upon the less muscular, non-athletic males and are a "celebration of dominance." Each avenue gives a fictitious sense of what a real man is; connected to size, strength and muscularity.

Katz believes this masculinity is the reason for the increase in teen violence. Boys who have become marginalized by other boys who are considered by society as ahead of them, therefore, have found new outlets for their rage: weapons. Each of the school shootings has been due to this clash of masculinity. With respect to Gilligan, the students who lashed out were ridiculed and shamed for not being "in," and consequently became so frustrated that they needed to show their masculinity. Following the shootings in Pearl, Mississippi, shooter Luke Woodham stated that "I killed people because people like me are mistreated everyday…murder is not weak and slowwitted…murder is gutsy and daring." He continued to say that "one second I was some kind of heartbroken idiot and the next I had power over many things." These boys found themselves in a situation where they felt that there was no alternative, but to use violence to get back at their aggressors, and shaming them.

The minute a gun enters into the picture with kids who have been marginalized, it serves as the "great equalizer." Boys, who were once backing down from bigger more masculine boys, now can back them down. The shame has left them and been put into the more masculine boy. For once they have a feeling of superiority and actually feel good about themselves. Katz calls this self-fulfillment, "a gross form of respect." It is the media’s influence on our sense of masculinity that has allowed teen boys to kill.

Boys need to compensate for their lack of athletic ability, physical size, and place in society by using guns. Continuing in Harris’ journal he writes about this ability to change society through the use of guns by stating,

Besides questioning the availability of guns to both Klebold and Harris, we have to realize that the reason for this mass arsenal is to turn the tables of Columbine society. They want to make an impact and be feared for once. They obtained the "great equalizer," and did change their standing within society.

Anytime someone does not enter into the cultural norm of masculinity he is called a "fag, sissy, girl, pussy, queer, wimp" by the dominant male. This ridiculing creates a huge burden upon the psyche of a boy. They do not want to be considered a "fag" and are shamed because of it. Their need to compensate is what puts them in the position to kill. The violent masculinity portrayed in the media forces boys to comply with society’s stereotypical demands. Boys fill with shame and those who cannot cope with those emotions, kill.

The question then arises, why have school mass murders not happened in previous generations. The answer is in the previous arguments, that of the mass media and parental neglect. Today’s society has created an environment where more and more children are watching television and listening to music. Concurrently, television and music have become more and more violent and masculine. This lack of supervision and the increase in violent masculinity has shown kids an outlet for their shame…murder. Boys must know that there are outlets for their aggression that do not entail murdering anyone.

Boys in middle school feel the emotion of shame constantly throughout their years. Why then do only a few boys vent their frustrations through mass murdering their classmates? It is because not everyone is able to deal with society’s huge burden on his psyche. Boys are bullied and teased every day and every day their shame is multiplied because they do not fit into the stereotypes of what is "cool" or "popular." It is necessary to change society and to eliminate bullying all together. When society embraces everyone who is different or does not fit into the norm then children in school will be much safer and happier. An end to bullying is the most important step towards ending or even curbing teen violence.

Media has created this norm of masculinity and desensitized us to the effects of violence. We must be able to show programs, which do not show violence as a common occurrence, but rather that it is wrong and give outlets for boys to understand the repercussions. There is a problem and it must be dealt with quickly. How many more children must die before we realize that there are ways to combat these problems? It may seem like an unattainable task, but there has to be a starting point as the proverb goes, "every journey begins with a single step."